Yesterday

since 2005 there are four people who I have spoken to as much as I did yesterday.
'And why is that , Essie?'
I guess in a way the 'How I met your mother episode' (season 3 episode 15) paints a pretty good picture of what Im talking about. When we meet people from High school you revert back. Of course high school years are the years you only go to school to hang out with your friends and use bad-language unsupervised; have hormonal rages that give you the same adrenaline rush you get from lying to your parents about boys and how sex before marriage is taboo;and finally: coz u get to be 16 again...and reflect on how lame you were when u were in school. oh gosh that's so not what the FINALLY was meant to be..right when i think of what it WAS originally meant to be I'll write a NB to this post.
Right coming back to yesterday.School...i learnt a lot in school.For example that I AM REALLY bad at algebra, but really good at geometry.or I was pretty good at English language but when it came to writing lit answers without ruchi dictating them to me, well let's just say I wasn't as good as I had built up in my mind.
Amonst other things though I definitely learnt things about myself:If I wake up every morning staying out of people's lives and doing what I want to do,then I go ahead in life.But if i get stuck in the moment and caught up with emotions the mind and body are no longer in sync. I could give a few examples here, but if anyone is reading this then I'd like to hear your take on this (if you can understand what I am saying)
Coming back to the 'reverting bit': I met up with an old school friend. And it's funny how you think you've matured when you left school, when what's really happened is: You've become yourself.There's nomore pretending, nomore lying,nomore rages and in time you finally admit to yourself that you are who you are and that you don't have to be ashamed if you are NOT living your life upto other people's expectations.And most importantly when you meet people from your past you should be happy to do so, because though you might not see it imediately or ever, the puzzle would not be complete without them and that alone is a good feeling (:S I think it could be). And as my friend and i were discussing yesterday when you leave an institute as scarring as the boarding school i'd like to call 'fake-prison' and you meet others from the same place there's an immediate connection (unspoken but unnecessary to be mentioned connection) so you automatically greet with warmth AND THEN YOU REVERT.
I would never be able to explain how 'leso' my ex history teacher was to the new people in my life and make them laugh if I just immitated her in front of my classmates from school. Vandalising the peacock throne holds no meaning to my boyfriend, even if claims to be listening and understanding where I'm coming from. Trying to make people understand how important it was to me to be able to let go of myself when i was up on stage and was able to perform music i loved- and i got to feel important was something i was really good at, is so hard to bring across in words without sounding like I'm showing off.Worst of all there's so many pieces of the puzzle that I miss having around that I guess it's good when I get to relive them and find them because then I realise they are not lost forever. In fact they never were-i just have to be bale to admit to myself that things are not always as bad as they may seem and that finding the lost pieces is a good thing; piecing life together is a good thing, because the good and the bad go together and the picture is always a pretty one.
Maybe when I leave my bed I'll be able to really put my good intentions to use. I left my bed yesterday for the first time in over a week. and it felt surprisingly good...the person who made me do it gets a lot of credit for this.thanks...