so last week I had it all worked out: Ive always known What i had to do, but i just had to take some action and do it.
I set out to making a plan-on paper. But after that....well nothing has happened since then.
I know exactly what I have to do.ALways.My intentions are good.In my mind I have thought out every step, and I cant wait to lay my plans into action.I am fairly meticulous when it comes to planning things out that basically require only me. Even in a team, I always have a picture in my mind when doing a project. But of late,I lack motivation. And I think today i realised why.
I was talking to Aram, and I just got incredibly annoyed at the fact that he is sounding like my parents.I wont deny that everyone is right in saying the stuff they have been saying to me of late, but it is really annoying. So here is me, lacking any kind of creative inspiration, any kind of life, and I have made plans for myself. Big Plans. But why do I still feel crippled?
The answer is simple: I have no friends. No physical contact with someone I can call my friend. I have a teacher, a very wise teacher as a matter of fact- and i mean literally my music teacher. She teaches me, when I leave my lesson I feel good, strong, healthy, like I have become more knowledgeable. But I really lack friendship here. And sadly I am not at a stage of my life where I can gladly step out and make new friends with people who might seem supportive, but really are annoying me just like others. The others, I shall label 'wise-cracks'. Friends-someone who knows me and will help me, be on my side, NOT tell me what to do and then walk off thinking their job is done.
I miss my friends. Which is why in my mind I wish I was in India with my two best friends. Yasha I know ur comin down there sooner or later and it would be so nice if all of us could be together. Because then I have guidance, support, love, contact, advice, criticism, joy, and sometimes even sadness all in one place-and it should make me happy, stable, and able to cope with life more easier.
Life truly is about friendship. Nothing else matters.
Ess, you're stuck in a global recession. Life's really tough just now - almost for everyone. Don't worry too much. Calm down. May be you could come back. Not for friends per se but for the fact that there are people here who can help you professionally. There's a huge group of ex Welhamites in the media for instance. In the middle of pink slips and pay cuts, there's not much left to do. The smartest of IITians are jobless right now. Why do you think I'm doing my post grad?
ReplyDeleteYou're also stuck in the time after graduating and before finding a life/job. Don't worry, it'll pass.
ReplyDeleteNice pic btw.
yeah i know-but u see the depressin thing is not only that i dont hve a job, i can kinda live with that; as my writing says, i miss company more than anything else.with company, friends it is easier to withstand pain and misery.but without support, the right support, one tays stuck in the moment and dwells on the same miserable things over n over again.grr
ReplyDeleteI miss u guys so much :(
Thanks yasha..the pic was taken at pataudi.i was gng to put pic up of u, BUT i have a virus on my laptop.and its hidden all my pictures,so i cant accsess them.but as soon as aram fixes that u will be featured here too.i promise i wont forget!