I don't think i add value to the world.probably why I doubt my abilities.abilities to be able to contribute significantly.but then my mind has this constant conflict:Why bother to contribute to anything, if it's just fleeting effort?
im watchin 'lois and clark: the new adventures of superman'.having another sleepless night, and not lookin forward to my day.simply because, i have only good intentions and no motivation.what I need is guidance,structure and discpline.I can hardly believe I am saying this, but i think I miss school for those very reasons. University ruined me. Things that happened before that were good for me.Yet I hated it, the idea of it, the execution of it.But it was good for me.I was active (though always sleepign in class..but hey with 3 hours sleep every night it wasn't easy stayin awake), thin, alert, not bothered about anything but what I achieved, i had friends and I was generally happy, I did my own thing and achieved much more in four years in boardin school than I have achieved in my entire life. Damn!I still hate school, but i was good for me.I think it would still be.
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I disagree completely. You've definitely added value to my life. (The best friend of the protagonist of my very first novel is named Seher after you.) I comprise a tiny fraction of the world, you know. 1/6 billionth of it.
ReplyDeleteAlso I do miss school. I'm less bitter about it than you are but funnily what I miss least is the discipline and the rigour. I followed rules uncomplainingly then but after this small town girl was introduced to the freedom of Delhi's wide streets, she never wanted to be shackled again.
Now I know why Yasha can post easily while I can't. An American internet connection!
ReplyDeleteAww thanks ruch... ILU (LOL..sry i just read ur November post on abbreviations...)
ReplyDeleteMaybe i just generally miss having any kind of direction in my life. at the moment it's all about sleeping,eating,and bein disillusioned about my weight and looks.but as i said this supposed value and purpose we have as people if totally insignificant.its not leading us anywhere.everybody has one life and then you die. and at some point of time we know that the world is going to come to an end,so what exactly are we striving towards?
Ummm immortality. To leave a little of ourselves behind.
ReplyDeletebut why would we want to leave a piece of ourselves behind when the world IS going to end (its inevitable) and then nothing matters anyway?!
ReplyDeleteU've read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy too seriously.
ReplyDeletelol...maybe i have.AND i read 'restaurant at the end of the universe' too.damn douglas adams-he is the cause for my misery.lol
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