Now that I am married

Everything seems much clearer, now that I am married. No longer do I have to remind my mother of the flamboyant promises she made to 13 year old me. I am married now and may do as I please.
Last week I went to a fair, and had fake hair braided into my scalp. It hurt.
Yesterday, after work, I was bored, so I went window-shopping. I have very little money, but when I saw the tattoo and piercing parlour I could not resist. Now my ankle is scarred for life.
This morning I woke up, thinking. Thinking of all the things I could do, now that I am married. But it wasn't all the glamour I had expected. Now everybody knows that I am having sex (or not...either way I am no longer 'pure'). And when a sexual joke is made, I can no longer pretend I don't understand.
Now that I am married, if I have an affair, I can be left stranded with nothing. A fight through the night just won't 'justify' my actions.
NOW that I am married to one man, if I do anything foolish, everybody looks down at me, and tell me to grow up.
If being married means happiness with one person, in the same home, building a family, and just being happy-signing to a lifetime of happiness, then why am I still living up to other's expectations? When I wake up in the morning, why can't i walk out in my tracks anymore, without people telling me that I need to look respectable, now that I am married.
My lip is pierced and everybody looks at me weirdly. I have a tattoo and someone said that I am having an early mid-life crisis.
I do not wash my hair all the time, nor shave my legs, and my husband does not call me beautiful. In fact, he keeps reminding me of how I used to be, how I lost my innocence and what a waste of time it was. He has no reply to my rhetort...
Nobody questions him if he goes out alone-except me. Why can't i go too? I know you buddies bring their girlfriends of the day.
Quizás I made a bad choice. Quizás I was too young. Quizás I no longer want to be married. Quizás this is my destiny...